Highs and Lows, Take 2

It's 1:30am and today, like most days, flew by too quickly with multiple trips between homes to give Sammie his meds and being there for Craig's hospice visit, moments of being awake, etc. Here are a few captured highs and lows before I fall asleep and they fade from view.

Highs:

-Hearing Craig giggle at the Daily Show. Ever since we planted the idea, he's clung to his daily, Daily Show for comedic relief. Sometimes he sleeps through, but most often he can rouse awake for a little Jon Stewart followed by the Colbert Report.

Rare is the occasion when Craig laughs and when it happens, I take pause to paint it into memory. Though it sounds nothing like his normal laugh, at least it's a laugh and not a moan, or a cough or retching from a vomit spell. For a moment, he's away from it all.

-Jill mentioned how much she enjoyed having the four siblings together, spending time as the "foursome". Just as he used to and without hesitation, he nodded and said, "Yeah, it's cool, it's cool" (said, "coo").

-As a throwback to the classic, "Flashdance", Craig is sporting a new pair of half-sockies that protect his heals but leave his toes uncovered. The inspirational fashion statement prompted spontaneous dancing from Diane and Jill a la Flashdance's "Maniac" scene, that morphed into a dancing scene from "Better off Dead". I followed suit and Jill and I tippy tapped our way into Craig's room. He asked, "What are you guys dancing about?", in a way that smacked of an older brother checking in on his annoying little sisters. We laughed, sang, danced, and reminisced around his bed and he seemed genuinely happy that we were his company. It seemed like old times with the four of us shooting the breeze and being silly -- no cancer, no "process".

-Last night, before I headed out to take care of los gatos, the sisters drifted into a spontaneous sing-along complete with renditions of a favorite quasi-blues song and tunes from the harpist's play list. Sure we were being melodramatic and goofy, but it seemed to relax Craig. When asked whether he likes our serenades, he said, "Yeah...I guess", which is a helluva lot better than his standard "you guys are off key". Progress!

Lows

-Sandy confirmed that the pressure sore (pressure ulcer) was indeed down to the fascia just covering the bone with some tissue necrosis around the rim. We have done and are doing all that we can to keep the area sterile and free of infection; however, keeping it free of further pressure is nearly impossible. As advised, we have kept Craig on a rotation schedule since leaving the hospital, yet, for him, rotation means just 10-20 degrees or so -- barely enough to make a difference. His abdomen restricts further movement, and he's simply bedridden with perhaps 5 very brief "standing sessions" in a day. These aren't the best conditions to keep his pressure sore at bay, especially when it went from a Grade I to Grade III very quickly. Still, we're optimistic we can overcome these odds and limit progression. At the very least, he's not in as much pain!

-I'm not sure if this qualifies as a low or a "who knows!", but his heart rate has elevated back to 120 bpm. He's having a more difficult time catching his breath and his flank/back have increased in size on both sides of his body. It's unclear whether this is a trimming of his waistline and upper back or actual growth (i.e. tumor growth or fluid). Whatever the case, it's startling to see.

Despite the lows, we still laughed, sang, danced, and enjoyed several small departures from the severity of life -- if only for a moment.  I'd say that makes for a good day. ~E