Tilt-a-Mary

Mom's having more difficulty with balance and stability of late --really, ever since the bout with sepsis. Could be the tumor, could be her new chemo, perhaps a combination of all three, or could be residual effects of a late night tilt-a-whirl bender we aren't aware of. Whatever the case, she tends to bob around like a Bobo doll without a gentle hand on her back for support. Unlike the Bobo doll, she rarely bobs back to neutral.

Sitting down without back support is quite the unsteady affair. It's a slow tilt at first as she's "taking on water" then faster and faster until she's either on her back or tilted sideways.  When helping her get dressed, I usually sit down beside her and keep some body part (shoulder, arm, knee, even head) on her to keep her steady. One time, she did the unexpected and tipped to the side. We laughed and I said, well that's a new one! Another time, I was helping her with her shoes and she said she had a good grip on the bed bar (it's a hospital bed with railing). I slid her foot in and told her to push push push, cheered once we were successful and then looked up to find her at a 15 degree angle, nearly flat on her back. We CRACKED up and I said "well no wonder it was difficult to put your foot in, good grief" and she said "I wondered when you'd notice".

It's a similar process when helping her dress while standing. I usually keep my head, arm, elbow, something on her back to serve as a sensor as I pull up her shorts--just to help with her proprioception and to help me detect when things are moving slightly off-center.

It's something we embrace and crack up about as part of the 'new normal' (i.e. we don't make a big fuss about it or call attention to it...just help her find her neutral again). Yet, from time to time, she'll say "I think it's so bizarre how I can't keep upright. It's interesting how it affects my balance" as she's rubbing her head. One time, she said "it's right here" as she stroked the front part of her head where the tumor is located.

The Tilt-a-Mary draws a big grin on her face and ours each occasion. Seeing her big brown eyes staring back, waiting for help always and without hesitation pulls on the heartstrings. It's a comical yet extremely tender moment and you know then just as in every moment in life that you'd gladly walk through fire for her...if it would only help. In the meantime, we'll be the safety bar on her tilt-a-whirl. -- E