Last night was the hardest night of my life. We (Craig, Dad, Jill, Erin and I) decided to stop giving her oxygen. It's time. She wasn't awake yesterday except for one or two moments when she opened her eyes. Oxygen wasn't stopped immediately, but has been gradually decreased over the past night to a minimal amount to let her natural process take place. Her comfort is our priority and so far, she seems comfortable and pain-free. Watching this happen is more than difficult; it's heartbreaking, gut-wrenching and draining. But, I can't leave her. I won't leave her until she is gone. She deserves that. I think Jill and Erin feel the same. So, until that moment comes when I know she's not there, I'll be within earshot or holding her hand; telling her how much I love her.
D
My thoughts and prayers and those of my dad go out to you all. You may not know this, but your mom was there for us at exactly this moment in OUR lives, when she spent the night at the hospital with my dying mother so we could rest. She was absolutely amazing to us throughout that so-difficult period. I'm not sure we ever adequately expressed how wonderful she was and how much we appreciated everything she did. Im so glad that you are all there for her -- and she has that love and support that she had so freely given -- now that it's her time. I wish we were closer and able to support you in person. I know that you're there for each other, but if any of you need a shoulder, I'm here. -M.
ReplyDeleteI like to think that though Mary is still so close to you she is in a place where there is no more suffering for her and it helps relieve the pain a bit. I dread to think of the time when the terrible news will come. I know you will be strong because the five of you will be standing together around her. Love to you all from us all : Chris and Jean-Paul .
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry but I know Mary is with us all. Mary touched the hearts of so many and like your mom you all have followed in her in touching our hearts by opening your most private and precious moments. Thank you all for sharing and making us better people.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs to each and everyone of you beautiful people your mother is so proud.
Donna
Mary's enthusiasm and her uncanny direct wit will always be with me. The little time we had together as friends and colleagues added so much to my life. We lost a few battles but we won in the end by being obstinate and intentionally never giving up. The Lawler family is a special group - a gene pool of unselfishness to do no evil, to do good and to show unconditional love for one another and others .
ReplyDeleteEarl Mitchell
Mary has been blessed to have a family that stuck by her side and fought with her all the way. You all have remarkable strength and such pose during what I find to be an unfathomably difficult time in your lives.
ReplyDeleteThe time and thoughfulness of this site itself is a true sign of the selflessness of the entire Lawler family. My Aunt Mary has created a beautiful memory of selflessness that I will never forget... As my Mother expressed her unconditional love for her sister and as they shared the fond memories of their childhood (just four days ago), my Aunt Mary, who has been "fighting fiercely" for her life, thought to ask how my wedding plans are coming along. This was remarkable to me as just days before I was told that verbal communication with Aunt Mary is limited and she does not say much. To think that she actually remembered and summoned the energy to ask about my wedding plans is truly touching.
While that is only a glimpse of the kind of person Aunt Mary is and will always be, I think it is quite telling and wanted to share with you all.
Aunt Mary, Uncle Jim, Craig, Diane, Erin and Jill, I love you and am thinking of you all so much right now.
Alison
Diane,
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long battle for you and your family. While I understand that no one can say anything to make you feel better, I still wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
From the bottom of my heart,
Tamara