And the competition continues

Well, mom will finally get to meet the folks on the 11^th floor.  Yep, after a month and a half drought, we’ll be gracing the halls again, but this time with the momster in tow.  Earlier today, mom was whisked away by ambulance to the University of Colorado hospital (I’m annoying myself with the redundancy).  It sounds far more dramatic than it actually was.  After having gone the weekend with perhaps five words exchanged between mom and us, we – with the approval of Dr. Damek’s, as well as mom’s home health,  nurse – decided it best to get her checked.  Last Thursday, we noticed mom developing some significant edema in her left arm and bilateral legs.  She was unable to hold her head without assistance, and had difficulty swallowing pills and liquid.  It reached a point where she couldn’t eat without assistance.   So, not wanting to risk sepsis, we hedged on there something being wrong and took her back in.  And sure enough, she has a “raging UTI” and is dehydrated.  Earlier, she underwent an MRI while in the ER, as well as an ultrasound of her left arm, which was so swollen that the nurse suggested we cut mom’s wedding ring off.  Thankfully, her ring will live another day, but if it gets worse, we may have to consider that as an option. 

Anyhow, she’s now resting comfortably in room 1133 on the 11th floor – a room we have not yet christened.  The cute doctor with interesting eyes admitted mom and like last time (with Craig), he suggested an NG tube as a possibility to help with the pills/food.  Diane, dad, Emily, C and I were talking earlier about whether they’d consider TPN for mom, if her swallowing difficulties continue.  Though I doubt that will happen, it'd be neat if mom and C could synchronize their packs into some fat hip-hop beats, circa Chewbacca and his friends, the Ewoks.

Chatter has already circulated that we’re back.  I’m sure as the day shift comes on board, we’ll see familiar faces pop in for a hello.  It’s nice that mom will finally be able to get a thorough workup, and I can’t think of a better place.  We’ve been impressed with the level of care here; I’m confident they’ll give her the same gold standard as they did C.  It’s just strange to think she’s here.  As Emily said today, maybe we could just get them their own separate plaque (with gold engraving) commemorating their achievements.  Maybe then they’d stop this crazy competition.  At least now we can snag another pair of those trendy brown sticky socks… 

Strange conversations from earlier today:

1) Diane:  “You know, Jill, you really missed your century.  You could really pull off the frontierswoman look…you know the type with their hair pulled back, protecting the range while the hubby's away…quiet but strong types with guns…"

Dad:  “Maybe you could join the Mormon cult in Texas… the ones with the high bangs …."

I had my hair in a freakin' pony-tail for God's sake.  Far cry from the prairie look, me thinks. 

2) Jill:  "You know, the Golden Girls was a great a show...trendsetters"

Emily: "Where'd that come from?"

Jill:  "Well, think of it, there hasn't been a show quite like it."

Diane:  "I think a show about old people and S-E-X may have a hard time selling."

Strange Situations from Earlier:

At one point, an ER nurse asked us if Craig was okay (who was, at the time, slightly slumped over in a chair).  I suppose if a person didn’t know the context, they’d have a right to be worried about Mr. Sleepy with a white cord around his neck.   Reminds me of a time last Tuesday when we took mom to her post-seizure check-up with Dr. Damek.  D and I were about to put mom in the Honda when nature struck and we had to return to the bathroom – the same bathroom where she seized just a few days earlier.  When we wheeled mom back outside, we saw dad slumped over, sound asleep in the driver’s seat.  Poor passersbys must have thought he had driven as far as the valet before stroking out -- very Weekend at Bernie’s.  Diane and I couldn’t help but laugh as security pulled up behind him.  They gave him a funny look when he bolted upright after we called his name.  Funny stuff.

Strange sayings from weeks back:

Craig:  I carry my TPN like a ghost carries its chains. (Craig, the dramatic; April, 2008)

Diane (to mom):  Your eyes have so much expression…like a puppy dog.

Mom:  Oh yeah, like a dog about to be euthanized.  (Mom, the sarcastic; May, 2008)