The Hiccup Blues

Craig’s improving symptom-wise, but still in the hospital as we await further information.  Given that it’s now Friday, I imagine he’ll be here over the weekend, and possibly through early next week.  Though the lab-work, CT scan, and chest x-ray have pretty much ruled out an ‘infection,’ the doctors still believe he may have some mystery bug.  He’s still running high fevers – he spiked a 104 Wednesday night -- despite being on an array of antibiotics.  However, a more likely culprit may be his cancer.  In fact, his latest CT scan revealed an irregularity on his other kidney, which could be further metastases.  The doctors have not ordered further tests to determine if it is, indeed, cancer, or perhaps something else.  He's only been on Sorafenib one week, so it's still too early to tell whether it will be effective against Craig's cancer. 

So, we wait, and in the meantime, catch up on stories, like old times.  Craig was pretty out of on Tuesday and Wednesday, after essentially overdosing on anti-nauseas (so he could keep the barium down).  C would rotate between a) open-eye REM sleep where he’d stare wide-eyed at the ceiling and walls, all-the-while twitching; b) whimper-inducing nightmares; and c) sleep-talking about potential crises like huge felt balls bouncing around his room, or the N. Vietnamese colluding with the Taliban.  At one time, he whispered earnestly to Erin that ‘when Emily was in Spain (cue wide-eye look), she was part of a secret sect of the Jehovah’s Witness, which traveled on the Spanish Armada.’  He said this with the sheet pulled up slightly, as if to create a barrier between him and the imposter.   Never mind the fact that Emily was sitting next to me and could hear every word of Craig’s revelation.  It all makes perfect sense now…a closet Jehovah’s Witness from the Spanish Armada -- typical.  Earlier, he tried to plug his monitor into the wall, but rather than extend his arm to the plug-in, he walked chest first until the plug was touching the wall.  He then tried to insert the plug backwards.  E asked if he wanted her to do it, but he waved her off, and explained that the other outlets were broken.  After a little twisting and turning, he was finally able to plug it in.Though his drug-induced behavior often offers some much needed comic relief, it’s hard to see him completely zonked out, or worse, in a near-seizure state, with eyes wide open and whirling about.  Emily, E and I stood by his bedside for almost an hour as he twitched in bed (apparently, pain meds can cause small convulsion-like twitches).  Thankfully, he’s slowly coming out of his drug-induced coma -- yesterday was the most alive and alert I’ve seen him in recent days.  E, C and I watched some of a Martin Scorsese production on the history of the Blues.  And like clockwork, as soon as we put it on, C perked up; music is Craig’s proverbial ‘two scoops of sugar.’  For some reason, however, C has been battling a bad case of the hiccups, which persisted throughout the film.  It was cute to hear him laugh and talk along with the TV in between hiccups.  It sounds like a sad blues song – the doggone hiccup blues.  It’s nice to be here for the hiccups, laughter, and other small moments -- the stories, after all, make a lifetime.  Our philosophy is to take one day at a time.   When all is said and done, more is said than done.  We still find ourselves in the space between yesterday and tomorrow. -- J