Traveling with C

Craig and I have had the fortune of traveling around the world together. First, Craig visited Erin and me in Sweden, where we introduced him to the finer side of study abroad life, like barbecues and box wine. Then, it was on to Ghana. I remember picking him up from the airport. At that time, Ghana had an open pick-up area where people would line up along a winding ramp to greet their loved one as they made their way outside. The scene was much like the Price is Right, where eager contestants are greeted with big grins and high fives. I remember seeing Craig as he worked his way through the Price is Right crowd. He looked a little unnerved, but otherwise, happy to be there. After picking him up, I took him to a guest house where we chatted a bit about mom’s health (this was pre-cancer) and then crashed together.

Craig spent a little over a week with me in Ghana. During that time, he visited my classrooms, watched me perform a Japanese song with my classmates, and toured the campus. We also visited Ghana’s jungles, its Cocoa tree plantations, its historical cities (e.g. Cape Coast), and, unfortunately, its romantic hotspots. And here, a little note: though traveling with siblings may sound like a good idea, it’s probably best to avoid potential honeymoon spots with, say, your brother.

I’ll always remember celebrating Craig’s 28th birthday in Ghana. It was an obnoxiously romantic night by most standards, but for us, it was an opportunity for an older brother and a younger sister to spend a nice night together. I took him to a restaurant nestled right on the Atlantic coast, just outside Accra. After watching the waves crash against the rocky shore, we headed upstairs for traditional fufu with goat meat and okra soup. Fufu is eaten with your hands and traditionally swallowed whole. I remember the soup was so hot, it burned his 28 year old hands. We ate our fufu under a full moon, with the waves nearby, and high-life music playing in the distance. It was perfect. After dinner, we joined a small crowd which had gathered in front of the stage, and danced.

I’ll always remember dancing with my brother under the Ghanaian moonlight. He was wearing a white t-shirt, which was a change from his blue long-sleeve he had been wearing for the past five days. His eyes seemed a different color blue with the white, and the darkness of the Ghanaian night. And they changed colors when he laughed. To be able to spend that moment with him, not knowing what would happen only four years later, was a gift. We lived so freely.

We matched our Ghanaian experience with yet another romantic event: watching the stars on top a junket resting in the middle of Ha Long Bay in Viet Nam. To provide context, junkets are boats usually occupied by a) backpackers or b) newlyweds. That we were siblings on what was essentially a love boat struck people as a bit awkward. For those that thought we were together, they chalked our mutual coldness as having a lover’s tiff (or perhaps just a tad puritanical). When the word got around that the super standoffish, yet amazingly handsome couple was in fact a brother-sister combo, people (usually female backpackers) treated us (read him) differently. Still, we had a great time gazing at the Vietnamese sky, and laughing at yet another botched romantic outing. After Viet Nam, we toured the better parts of Cambodia, Lao PDR, and Thailand, where we'd tick off one romantic spot after another.

We had other romantic exchanges during Craig’s second trip to Thailand (in November). During his three week stay, we snuck in motorcycle rides in Chiang Mai, jungle walks in Malaysia, and music-education in Indonesia (I wasn’t able to join him in Indonesia). We enjoyed street food, watched impromptu cultural performances, played paddle-wackers in the sand, and rock climbed; we did everything that, in hindsight, would fill a bucket list.

My favorite memory was lounging beside the ocean underneath a blanket of stars in Raleigh, Thailand; this would be our last romantic outing we'd share. It was low-season then, making the beach a bit deserted. We sat there alone, just the two of us, listening to the waves and watching the stars dance above us. I remember talking about mom, and wondering how it would all turn out. We timed our conversation to match the retreat of the tide, and our tears to the match its surge. I remember listening to Craig wax on about Jupiter’s orbit (or something like that). At some point in the conversation, a shooting star crossed the sky, and again we laughed. Craig commented on how the moment would have been the perfect proposal moment if not for the fact that we're siblings -- another romantic moment down the drain.

With each romantic spot, Craig and I would grieve about how we were lining ourselves up for nice honeymoons in exciting Branson, Missouri, after ruining some of the more interesting spots. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  He's my travel buddy; traveling without him feels incomplete. Like the time I visited Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. Unlike when I'm with C, I didn’t do anything touristy. I just walked around aimlessly (literally, I’d start one direction, do a u-turn, go on a few feet, take a right…it must have been hilarious for onlookers). I remember laughing to myself that it was a good C wasn’t with me; I’d drive my travel buddy crazy.  (Though, I appreciate walking with no destination in mind. You can really discover a city that way, or that’s what I like to tell myself to justify the ‘wait… where am I’ moments.)

I remember sitting under the Petronas towers just at sunset. I sat there as the building lights slowly came on, and stayed until they were fully lit, with the dark sky hovering silently behind them. I remember thinking first that Craig would love the view, and that I wished mom was sitting there with me. Craig would later visit the Petronas towers; mom never got the chance (though I know she was right there with me).

I’ll always have these memories traveling with C. Though I always thought we’d have more, the ones we’ve made are still enough to sustain a lifetime. Every time I experience a ‘romantic’ occasion, I’ll think of him, and I’ll know he’ll be with me – laughing. -- J