Turn off your phone

Thomas Hobbes once referred to life as “nasty, brutish, and short.”  The person sitting next to me on the plane today was all those both in life, and in substance.  My life has been made all the more brutal by Johnny go-go gadget and his precious blackberry, which apparently lacks a crucial button – the off switch.  Tippity-tap, tippity-tap, he went, and throughout the entire flight.  Why Johnny couldn’t follow the simplest of instructions and turn said ticky-tack off was puzzling.  What, after all, was so important to risk in-flight safety, or our comfort?  Isn’t following rules part of our social contract?  Does this blatant disregard to federal aviation instructions signal a world on the brink of anarchy – a war of all against all?  It’s these Gary Busey’s of the world -- these self-made mavericks destined to give the finger to all things sane and reasonable (e.g. motorcycle helmets, seatbelts, turning off loud gadgets, etc.) -- that make life unnecessarily annoying.   How about liberating the rest of us from hearing your tippity-tapping; your inane conversations on categorizing computer files; or how you’re “fixin’ to do something real cool soon, so wait a sec.?”  Really, the suspense is killing me, John, but I think the pilot wants to land.  On another note, I called today and I’m third in line for a new pair of dentures.  The back molars seem a bit stubby from all the grinding.  --J